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Episode 5:  "What is Thy Bidding, My Dark Mistress?" - Part 2

March 19, 2008
Fahaheel, Kuwait
By Mary Sincioco

“Does this burka make me look fat?”
—Danielle Crittenden



More Inappropriate Questions

Here are some more questions to ponder… you know the stereotypical conversation between husband and wife just before leaving the house, when the wife asks, “How do I look honey? Does this outfit make me look fat?” Well, how are the men here supposed to answer that question?!? “No honey, your butt looks just fine in that shapeless robe…you don’t look like a blimp. I promise!”

Also, how do they recognize each other at the airport? One of my friends here related a story of waiting at the Kuwait airport for her son. She shared about how excited the families became the instant that their loved ones stepped through the arrival gate. She described the catcalling and clapping, followed by embraces all around. But how did they know from such a distance that this soul dressed in black from head to toe, without a strip of skin showing anywhere, was the person they were waiting for? This also brings to mind the idea of tourist photos… how would that work? I can just see the robed women lined up, posing provocatively. But why would the photographer even bother to say “cheese” when he couldn’t capture the smiles on film anyway? And besides, what’s the point if you can’t even tell who’s in the picture? These might be ignorant or irrelevant questions (irreverent, most definitely). I still haven’t figured out the answers though.

Bring on the Bling

I have to give the women of Kuwait props though, many of them go to great lengths to maintain individual style here. Some wear headscarves to die for, embroidered and sequined with Swarovski crystals. Full on BLING. Others wear the traditional headcoverings, but the rest of their outfit is western, composed of tight, sexy designer clothing in bright colors. Let’s be honest, they are probably making fun of MY outfit.

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Woman wearing a beautifully sequined hijab.


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Bring on the BLING!


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To me, this photo shows the mix of Bedouin (Arabian) and contemporary culture that is so representative of Kuwait: A woman wearing a traditional head covering takes a break from shopping at the mall to grab a café latte and text on her cell phone.


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As you can see, the woman on the far left is wearing a traditional black abaya but is not veiled, while the other women are wearing brightly colored scarves and different styles of clothing, from traditional to western. According to most, the Quran doesn't require the face to be covered; some say it is more of a cultural or political issue and thus a matter of choice.

Veiled Water Sports

Also, those brave women who do wear the complete abayas and burkas deserve credit for living their lives without letting the heavy, dark clothing hold them back. Like the women I saw riding a motorboat in the Persian Gulf in full garb. I felt sorry for them because they couldn’t fully see the beautiful panoramic view, or feel the wind on their face. But at least they didn’t just sit at home. I wish I had a photo of them, but I held back because most of the time I try not to be the obnoxious American tourist “snapping pictures of the natives.” (Ok I do admit to some covert pics every now and then!) But below I’ve included an amazing shot that I got from the about.com “Guide to Islam” page of a woman jetskiing in a burka! I’ve also seen veiled women swimming in the ocean, and robed women even going down water slides at the Kuwait City Aqua Park!

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Persian Gulf on jetski! Photo from about.com's "Guide to Islam."


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Women swimming in abayas at the local beach in Fahaheel.

Generation Gap

What about the kids? I have noticed several women walking around the mall in abayas, except they are accompanied by their pre-teen daughters in jeans and western t-shirts. Sin speculates that perhaps it is a generational difference. I wondered, at a certain age do they expect their daughters to don the robes? Or are they simply allowed to wear what they want forever? I’ve done some internet research, and one site said that around puberty is when the girls are supposed to start wearing the traditional garments. Another site said that certain families leave it up to the daughters if they want to wear the abaya/hijab or not. It sounds like Kuwait is, once again, far less repressive about this issue than many other Arab countries. Still, when I was at the movies last week in my comfortable American clothes, I couldn’t help but notice one young woman in an abaya. She was holding her mother’s hand, and as she glanced my way, I saw what looked like envy in her eyes.

The Lure of Anonymity

Have I considered wearing an abaya? At times it does occur to me to wear one, simply to avoid harassment. Like the one day I wore a v-neck and felt practically naked because of all the creepy stares from males. I thought their eyes were totally going to pop out of their heads. Although I guess I couldn’t blame them too much, if I was a guy and all I usually saw were women in full black robes I would stare too. At that point I decided to choose my clothes more carefully when going out. As I’ve said, some women here just dress in the western style, and for the most part I can wear pretty much whatever I want to (while keeping legs covered, of course). It’s actually not too hot here so far, but when it gets warmer I will wear long skirts instead of shorts and that’s about the only concession I have to make to a more conservative culture. But it would be fun to go out shopping in the abaya just because of the anonymity factor; sometimes I can feel the eyes watching this whiter-than-white chick as I walk down the street, and I’ve already had a few stalker-like incidents. (More on that later). But then I realized that I’d give myself away anyway as soon as I opened my mouth – can’t exactly speak perfect Arabic. Maybe I’ll get an outfit before coming back to the States, though – I could always wear it for Halloween!

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As you can see, many people in Kuwait just wear western clothing, or other styles representative of their native countries (like India).

Final Thoughts

If there is anyone reading this entry who knows more about this subject than I do (quite likely), and would like to set the record straight about abayas, burkas, hijab, etc, I welcome your corrections and comments. I’d also love to hear general opinions.

Finally, if you’d like to find out more about this topic, click on the links below for some fascinating articles by journalist Danielle Crittenden. In a four-part series entitled "Islamic Like Me," she describes her experience wearing a burka for a week during her daily life in Washington, D.C. In additional articles, Crittenden takes a far more serious approach than I have in these two episodes. She examines the issues from a socio-cultural and political perspective, making some very controversial assertions.


Articles by Danielle Crittenden:

Part 1: Islamic Like Me: Taking On The Veil

Part 2: Islamic Like Me: Does This Burka Make Me Look Fat?

Part 3: Islamic Like Me: Why Don’t You Just Take It Off?

Part 4: Islamic Like Me: “Do You Have Sky Miles?”

Follow-Up 1: HuffPosters Defend The Veil

Follow-Up 2: Is Western Culture More Sexually Oppressive Than The Burka?

Follow-Up 3: Why The Veil Is A Threat



—Mary Sincioco


Comments Box
 

DateComments
7/13/2008 11:09:51 PM Thanks so much for your reflections on Kuwait--how fascinating! I wish you two all the best and pray for your safe, happy return! Faune
5/30/2008 8:33:24 PM I just got to catch up with all of your adventures. There is never a boring moment when you are involved. I kind of like the idea of being fully covered with a light fabric to allow in air flow, but keep the hot sun off of my pale, easily burned skin...but black is supposed to trap more heat in, and if I had a darker complection, I wouldn't need it at all. I do like the idea of wearing pajamas all day. The only women who shave their legs are westerners and models. So they probably don't. --keep in touch. Clara
5/23/2008 2:06:20 PM I think the anonymity would be nice too...temporarily. I'm with you though when it comes to cumbersome feeling of wearing anything more than you absolutely have to when you go swimming, or eating out. I remember when I was young and the girls and women had to wear swimming caps in pools because of our hair messing up the filtering system. I loved it when the filtering systems became advanced enough that wearing caps was no longer necessary and I could feel the water flowing through my hair. I still love swimming and can't imagine wearing all that gear. I think I'd be afraid of getting all tangled up. And eating out - I have enough trouble now without having to slip the food under a burka and into my mouth. Think about spaghetti. Love, Aunt Pam
5/22/2008 9:39:33 PM Great idea to include articles that people can refer to! Love, Mom